Marrying or dating someone with a different culture… Good or bad idea?

Good or bad idea. I think it can be a good idea for some people and for other people a bad idea. I will explain. First I’ll start by saying i get tired of people telling me” ehy did you marry someone of another culture, your marriage is going to be hard!” The worst was when my professor at the university told me “you will probably get divorced, most do in your situation.” I am a white american with scottish ancestry(im about 75% scottish) i grew up in California my whole life. My wife moved from Ecuador in South America. All her family are from there and many still live there. This is a pretty big difference in cultures. 

My wife speaks Spanish and English. Most her family only speak Spanish. Everyone in my family only speaks English. I learned Spanish while on a mission for my church when i was 19. But i still was not good at it. And did not understand latinamerican culture. So why would we get married??!!

My marriage has been awesome. And we almost never have arguments. We always stay calm and talk things out when we disagree with something. I have friends who married people of the same culture and could not stand eachother, and were divorced in a short time. So i will list some ofvthe key things that have helped us stay a happy family.

#1– Acknowledge the cultural differences you two have before getting married. 

#2– Once the differences are acknowledged, talk about how you feel about them and where there could be compromises on both sides to make the other happy. It is important to understand that getting married with two cultures means each side will have to compromise and be involved in a culture at least somewhat that they are not used to. 

#3–like the person a LOT. It should be easy to compromise and change life a little if u love the person and are attracted inside and out. 

#4–Visit the country of orgin of your spouse. Once you do this you will have a greater appreciation of their culture and who they are and how they grew up.

#5–Once married, and when you two feel ready i think having a child really will help the culturally different struggles. We have two children. They for me are the glue that holds the different cultures together in a relationship. Because they genetically come from both the cultures. It becomes different when i say my flesh and blood, MY DAUGHTER is Ecuadorian, it feels like it is a part of me even more.  I loved taking my daughter to Ecuador and letting her see where my wife is from. Then i also like taking her down to los angeles to surf and play on my surfboard. To see what my families culture is from there. I want her to know my side of the family and my culture… But she idms HALF my wife. HALF Ecuadorian i think that is so cool and lucky she can also be a part of that culture too. So for me i participate as much as i can in my wifes culture so that my daughter can know it too. 

I presonally find it fun and great. I learn new things all the time. And if you really love the person it will work out. Just be open and understanding.

One difference is my wife celebrating “la noche buena” at midnight from christmas eve to chistmas. I had never heard of it. But we celebrate it every year at her parents house every year along with my familys christmas eve and christmas day traditions. I think it is fun that we have more stuff going on and more reason to have fun and meet together as family. 

Let me know your thoughts on the topic. Thanks for reading! 

Author: Jake

Im married, I have a beautiful daughter, I'm a full time student, I work, I skateboard, I surf and im religous. Life is AWESOME!

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